The Resilient Dollar

My answer is always the same: it depends.

It’s tempting to look for a magic number, a golden salary that guarantees happiness and financial security. But the truth is, what’s “good” for one couple might be completely inadequate for another, and vice-versa. It’s less about a specific dollar amount and more about how that income aligns with your lifestyle, your goals, and your values as a couple.

The Averages: A Starting Point, Not a Destination

Of course, it’s helpful to have a benchmark. According to recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau for 2023, the median household income for married-couple families in the U.S. was around $119,400. For married couples with children, the median income was even slightly higher, closer to $120,000. In my home state of Massachusetts, for example, the median for married couples with children is quite high, around $152,000 in some areas! These numbers give us a general idea, but they don’t tell the whole story.

Why? Because the cost of living varies wildly across the country. What’s comfortable in a lower-cost-of-living area like Mississippi (where the median married couple income is around $81,552) is vastly different from living in a high-cost city like New York or San Francisco. The average monthly expenses for a U.S. household currently hover around $6,440, which translates to roughly $77,280 annually (according to 2023 data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics). But again, this is just an average, and your personal expenses could be much higher or lower.

Beyond the Numbers: What Truly Matters

So, if a single income figure isn’t the answer, what should we be focusing on? Here’s what I believe truly defines a “good” income for a married couple:

• Meeting Your Needs (Comfortably): This is the baseline. Can you comfortably cover your essential expenses – housing, food, transportation, healthcare, and utilities – without constantly worrying? Are you able to pay your bills on time and avoid accumulating high-interest debt? For many couples, housing is the biggest expense, so understanding what you can truly afford here is crucial.
• Funding Your Shared Goals: This is where the “good” really starts to come in. Do you have enough disposable income to actively save for your shared dreams? This could include:
  • Building an Emergency Fund: Experts recommend 3-6 months of living expenses. This is non-negotiable for peace of mind.
  • Saving for a Down Payment: Whether it’s a house, a car, or another significant purchase, being able to consistently set money aside is a huge win.
  • Investing for Retirement: Are you both contributing to retirement accounts, ideally enough to get any employer match and then some? Planning for your golden years together is a beautiful thing.
  • Education Savings: If you plan on having children, are you able to save for their future education?
  • Travel and Experiences: For many, a “good” income means being able to enjoy life – take vacations, pursue hobbies, and create lasting memories.
• Financial Harmony and Communication: This, in my opinion, is perhaps the most important aspect of a “good” income for a married couple. It’s not just about how much you make, but how you manage it together. Open, honest communication about money, shared financial goals, and a willingness to compromise are invaluable. This means:
  • Creating a Joint Budget: Knowing where every dollar goes and having a plan for it.
  • Discussing Financial Priorities: What’s important to each of you individually, and what are your collective aspirations?
  • Being Transparent About Debt and Spending Habits: No secrets!
  • Regular Money Talks: Circumstances change, and so should your financial plan.
• Peace of Mind and Reduced Stress: When your income consistently covers your needs and allows you to work towards your goals, it dramatically reduces financial stress. This, in turn, creates a more peaceful and supportive environment within your marriage.

Money is a good servant

but

a bad master.

My Personal Takeaway

For my spouse and me, a “good” income isn’t about hitting a specific six-figure mark (though that’s certainly nice!). It’s about having enough to cover our mortgage, save for our children’s college, contribute meaningfully to our retirement, and still have a little left over for date nights and the occasional splurge. It’s about knowing we’re a team, working towards the same financial future, and being able to discuss money without it becoming a source of tension.

Ultimately, a “good” income for a married couple isn’t a destination; it’s an ongoing journey of mindful spending, diligent saving, smart investing, and, most importantly, open and honest communication. So, instead of asking “What’s a good income?”, perhaps the better question is, “What income allows us to live the life we envision, together?”