The Resilient Dollar

Friends, I need to be honest. English isn’t my first language, and sometimes, my efforts to show support to my husband through his unemployment get a little…lost in translation. You might even guess we have a few communication hurdles, haha! What I intend as help, he sometimes hears as bossiness. When I think he’s asking for advice, he’s actually just trying to share his feelings. It’s an ongoing battle, for sure.

I’m sharing this background so you understand that we don’t start from the same place. We have our own relationship challenges, but through it all, I am determined to show him that I am his rock, even if my methods aren’t always textbook. It’s tough on him, yes, but it’s tough on partners too. We’re both fighting our own battles in this storm.

My Practical Approach to Support

My strength, and sometimes my weakness, is being practical. My husband tells me that often. While I work full-time, I don’t leave all the housework to him. I still do my fair share. It’s my way of showing him that no matter what, I still treat him as my equal, not just someone with more free time.

I also take the lead on managing our finances proactively. I’m deep into budgeting, finding ways to cut expenses, and even looking for side hustles and potential deals. All this, while balancing my full-time job, is my way of trying to relieve the immense stress he feels about finding new work.

And food? Oh, he loves the Mediterranean and Lebanese dishes I make. I make them more often now. I even made steamed buns for him recently, even when my hands were aching from a long day. It’s a small comfort, but one I know he appreciates.

Finding Connection and Calm Together

We’ve found a lot of solace in biking together. We spend a lot of time actively outside. It’s a great way for him to get out and move, and it’s also a powerful way for us to de-stress as a team. Those rides, even without many words, bring us closer.

Believe it or not, I’m big on physical touch. I’m always looking for opportunities to hug or cuddle him, or give him back rubs. For me, it’s a direct way to convey comfort and love without needing to find the perfect English words.

I’m still learning about giving space. Sometimes I might not understand it perfectly, but I’m trying. If I see him withdrawing, I make a conscious effort to give him room. I just ask him for one small thing in return: a heads-up. That way, I know he’s not distancing himself from me because of something I’ve done.

What I’m Actively Working On

This journey has also highlighted areas where I need to grow. I’m focusing on how to emphasize his strengths rather than pushing him to do things he’s not naturally good at. It’s a shift in perspective that I hope will help him feel more empowered.

I’m also working on being a more stable presence for him. I confess, I’m not the calmest person in the world. I might be stable for a month, and then my own anxiety takes the wheel. But I am trying. I’m learning to manage my own battles so I can be a better support for him in his.

This whole experience is a tough job for both the person who lost their job and their partner. We both have our own internal struggles in this storm, but we’re facing it together, one practical step, one hug, and one bike ride at a time.